The fact that my husband and I are separating is still a difficult concept for me to process.
He went to look at a place and found out a few days ago that he got it. An A-frame cabin in the woods, next to a creek. His dream location. Since he went to look at it on Monday, he has mainly been talking about it. He is beyond excited. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he is excited. But it still hurts.
After much discussion, we decided it was time to tell the kids what was going on,they were starting to get a bit nosey about all the conversations behind closed doors. I told him he needed to be the one to talk because I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t break down crying. we were both terrified. One thing we completely agree on is that our children come first. This won’t be a devastating process for them. They deserve so much better.
So we all sat down in the living room. He told them “Mommy and Daddy have been talking a lot, and we both decided that we need some privacy from each other, and for now the best way to do that, is if daddy goes and lives in another house.” There were a few other words in there, but overall that was it. We asked the kids if they had any questions and all they asked was about Daddy’s new house. Where is it? What there was to do there? Is there enough room to ride my bike? They took the “Privacy” concept so incredibly well. At the end of the conversation, we went into the office to talk, and we were both blown away how well the kids took it. We just looked at each other and said “so…..that went better than I was expecting” I can’t even explain what a huge relief it was to talk to them and have them understand(?).
On the other hand, the next day, he called his mom and talked to her about it. She is devasted. She and I have a really good relationship. I know I can talk to her about anything. She has been so supportive and just an amazing woman to have in my life. Unfortunately, She pretty much thinks we are doomed and getting a divorce, and that she will never see her grandbabies again. (apparently, when his brother and his wife got divorced, the wife turned into a complete twat and wouldn’t let him bring the kids anywhere with him. So their mom went over a year without seeing grandbabies) I feel like she would know me so much better than that. I would never keep her from seeing the kids. She did text me and offered to talk. Even though we are really close, I haven’t talked to her on the phone, I’m just not ready yet. I know when I do, I’m going to cry a storm. And I know she is going to cry a storm. And I’m just not ready. I can barely keep myself together when I m talking to my friends about it. But his mom, I almost feel like I’m letting her down, I’m pretty sure that’s not the right way to explain how I feel, but it’s the closest wording I can use for now.
Since my kids knew, I figured I should tell my parents, since they see the kids fairly often and I didn’t want them to spill the beans. If you have read any of my other blogs, you will already know that my parents (really just my mom) DO NOT like my Husband. She once told me she would pay for my divorce (I should have gotten that in writing). She isn’t a fan, at all. So I was dreading this conversation. I was prepared for a series of “I told you so.” “I knew it wasn’t going to work” and so on and so on. So I went over to their house to drop the kids off during my chiropractor appointment and asked if I could talk to them privately for a few minutes. We all sat down in their living room and I said “after a lot of conversation, (the hubs) and I have decided it would be best if we took a break, and we are separating for the time being. Not getting a divorce, just separating” I reiterated not getting a divorce a few different ways.
My mom had a blank look on her face the whole time and then she said: “I completely understand where you are coming from, and I’m sorry you are going through this”.
I was pretty much in shock. I was expecting more. Then she looked at my dad and said “Well, we have something we want to talk to you about……
“Your dad and I are getting a divorce. I filled last Tuesday”