I’m so fucking sad. My heart physically hurts. I just don’t know what to do with myself.
My husband is planning on moving out on the fist of the month, maybe before if the new place is ready. He said he is excited to move because of the location “not because it’s leaving you” Honestly, I have my doubts. I feel like he has already “checked out” per say.
The past week has been so hard. He has been working extra hours, so he has been gone before I wake up and hasn’t been coming home until 6 or 7pm. He calls once or twice during the day to check in. I feel like those 1 or 2 quick conversations makes it even harder. Sometimes it hurts to hear his voice. His voice, that same voice that has comforted me for the past 10 years. The voice that has supported me through every single situation, that has made me smile and told me I can do anything I put my mind to. The voice that has said “I love you” before hanging up the phone, for every single conversation for the past 10 years. As soon as he gets home he shuts himself in the office and just stays there.
He said that while he is living someplace else we can still see each other and maybe he will stay here once in a while, and I could stay there once in a while. We can take the time to do things together and even go on dates. But I feel like, it’s been 2 weeks we’ve been talking about this and there has been no effort made to change anything, except for him finding a new place to live. He’s planning on putting in all of this effort when he doesn’t live here, but in the meantime, I feel like he is creating as much distance as he can.
I know we are in an awkward situation, but I just feel like he doesn’t want to be here. I feel like he’s working extra hours because he doesn’t want to be home.
I hate feeling like I’m constantly on edge with him. I don’t know what to say.
I’m trying so hard to stay positive, but part of me feels like him moving away, is just going to make it easier for him to find distance.