I feel as though it has been forever since I have written! Thank you all for sticking with me!
I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed lately. Those of you who are familiar with my blog, are aware that I homeschool our 2 children (1st and 2nd grade). Thank the Lord we are down to the last month left of school! I have to say, it’s a bittersweet time of year. As much as I want to pack up all our supplies and tuck them deep into the depths of the hall closet (maybe even set it on fire and drink some wine), I’m equally sad to see the school year be over.
Homeschooling has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. I LOVE that I can watch my children grow and learn. I love that I can be there for those Ah-Ha moments. I love seeing the very second, that after days of struggling,they finally grasp a new concept and understand what the fuck I’ve been yapping about.
I love how close my children are, they are truly each other best friend (and no it’s not because they aren’t socialized, how dare you even think such a thing!) I love how my son will go help his little sister if she is stuck on a math problem, and how he lets her pick out a book for him to read to her, then when she tries to read along he helps her sound out the big words.
I love that if I let them stay in their pajamas all day, I get to stay in my yoga pants too.
I love the support our community has for homeschool parents. There are groups, meetings, and field trips, there is a gym and art class. I have met so many amazing women (sorry guys, but there are no homeschool dads in this group anymore, there used to be one and he was a weirdo..i don’t miss him).
I love that I am not only teaching my children academics but I am teaching them how live.
I love my kids, they are my world, my life. They make me, me. I feel like I wouldn’t be complete without them, and I honestly can’t even picture where I would be right now if I didn’t have them.
That being said, I just want a break. Multiple days that I don’t need to follow a schedule (or at least pretend to). Days I don’t need to argue with them about using a pencil instead of a crayon or a marker in their workbooks and explaining (or talking as loud as I can without it being classified as yelling) why it is important to know the parts of speech and place values. Days I don’t need to make sure we get every page of work done, or the perfect science experiment to broaden their minds. Days that I can just sit down.
A day without pressure to sculpt these little humans into functioning, educated, big humans. Do you know how intimidating it is, knowing you are the one who is teaching your child everything….seriously EVERYTHING…
I’m tired, stressed out and I ate way too much apple pie last night. The kids are already arguing over who has who’s pencil, and who gets to be the first one on electronics after the school day is over. And my son keeps bopping all up in my face and randomly singing blurbs from “I believe I can fly” (is that the song title, or just a verse?).
I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity to stay home with our children, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. But that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate a break as much as any other working person.