I just can’t say “No.”
Last week there was a knock at our front door. I peeked through the curtain and saw a man in a property management jacket, I didn’t think much of it. I opened the door, lo and behold, there was another man, standing to right of him whom I couldn’t originally see and they were both holding the Book of Mormon (cue the “oh no” sigh.)
I knew I was automatically in trouble because I do not handle these situations well. At all. I cannot just say “No Thank You” and shut the door. It would make me feel too guilty. I can’t be rude to these people who are so passionate about their faith and I’m sure they have people slamming doors in their faces all day. Hence another reason I don’t handle these situations well, I also feel like after being beaten down after countless “No’s” the moment someone opens the door and doesn’t automatically turn them down, they get so excited, as if the one person who listens and gives them an ounce of attention to what they have to say has completely “rebirthed” their faith.
No joke, I ended up talking to these guys for almost 20 minutes, standing with my front doorway wide open. I won’t actually invite them inside my house (you never know these days) and I felt a little bad since it was about 30 degrees outside and only the front sneaky one had on a jacket, they guy off to the side was just in his button up t-shirt.
Our conversation started rather normally (normal for today’s world), It was the afternoon of the terror attack in Brussels, so we started with that. My kids were running around being crazy and we gently changed subjects to them and they mentioned how important family was to them and their religion. I, unfortunately, mentioned that I homeschool, and my golly (or is it by golly?) it was like giving a Mormon crack, they ate that shit up, and went on and on about how amazing I was to be homeschooling my children and after all the nice things they said about me I just couldn’t be rude now.
Towards the end of the conversation, they started asking about my husband (who was conveniently taking a nap at this time) They asked about his religious views and opinions and then asked if he was “a pretty chill guy” (does that mean something different coming from a Mormon?) The guy was all smiles while asking about him, it was a little weird. They asked when he would be home because they would love to meet him and talk with him, my daughter then blurted out “My daddy is home on Sunday.”
Somehow, during the last few minutes he asked if I would be interested in reading the book of Mormon, and because I’m me, I said: I’ve never read it before, but I guess I could give it a try.” Apparently that’s where my biggest mistake was. He then grabbed out a pen and wrote his cell phone number in the book! He said: If you have any questions or just want to talk sometime, feel free to give a call…….Whoa, there Mr. Mormon!! Put that pen back in your pocket! I was rather shocked, but in all honesty, I was a bit flattered because I felt like this guy was hitting on me. I also felt like this had to be against his religion. He wrote in their “Holy Book” to give his phone number to a married woman, that’s got to be a sin.
Sunday rolled around and it happened to be Easter. Sure enough, around 5 o’clock there was a knock at the door. I opened it and it was the Mormons, again. I was uncomfortable and caught off guard, I didn’t think they would actually come back so soon. I was almost rude (not quite though) and I said “I didn’t realize it was Easter Sunday when we were talking, we have family over, I’m sorry but can you come back another day.”
The very next day, I felt on guard. I was cleaning up in the living room, and I saw a silver SUV across the street, 2 guys got out and grabbed a black man purse out of the back seat and sure enough, it was them again! I turned off the living room light and told the kids to be very quiet. My husband was napping (he naps a lot and at awfully convenient times). I kid you not, they knocked for 8 minutes, really loudly. To the point one of the pictures on the wall shook. It was an intimidating knock. They finally left and I thought we were in the clear. But NO! Maybe an hour and a half later, there was another knock at my door. I peeked out a side window and guess what? They were back! They knock so hard. If i didn’t know why they were here, I would have thought it was either the police or someone was trying to break in my house by knocking first….
I talked to my husband (once he finally woke up) and told him that I couldn’t be rude (he knows what a darling I am) So I asked him to please answer the door next time they came and tell them we aren’t interested and to not come back (He is really, really good at being an asshole, so I thought he would jump at the opportunity) But he said as soon as I took that book, I was involved and its my responsibility to handle the situation. What a way for a guy to puss out of this situation , huh!
So tonight, they came back (yet again) and knocked for another 8 minutes. Guess what I did? That’s right, the kids and I huddled up in the dining room and sat their in silence. And we will continue to do so. Because I just can’t say “No, Thank You.”
Do you do anything to deter door knockers? I would love to hear any tips. I know I can’t hide forever.