Look at you go! Taking charge and providing for your family. Working countless hours so that your wife can stay home with your children and you don’t have to fork over a (butt-load) of money for a sitter or daycare. More then you realize, you are giving your children and wife, more memories than they could ever imagine. The littlest things will be implanted in their hearts forever.
That being said, Cut your wife a damn break!
Now I understand that every family is different, but this is an example of my daily schedule: Wake up, get kids up (give them about 15 minutes to wander around the house aimlessly to realize they are in fact humans and not baby bears waking from hibernation), make breakfast, (start a pot of coffee) get kids dressed(on a good day) then spend at least 20 minutes arguing that they must sit at their school desk instead of watching Minecraft tutorials on Youtube. Then we start our morning work pages and argue for another 10 minutes about why they have to do school in the first place (oh yea, I made coffee! I’ll just warm it up in the microwave quick). Then it’s about 30 minutes of back and forth between 2 desks answering every question and sharpening pencils (that just happen to break off every 5 minutes), then we take a 10 minute break and argue about why they have to sit back at their desks again.(oh yeah, i made coffee, I’ll just reheat my cup again) Then we do the same routine for another hour and a half. My God, it’s only lunch time. Send the kids outside to play and make lunch, then call them in to eat(knowing they have to do school again, they will eat as slow as possible). Then argue again that they have to sit at their desks and we do their unit studies. (Shit, I still have coffee! I’ll just warm it up one more time!) Then we take another break, and “discuss” why its so important to pay attention and do our best in our schoolwork. Then we get back to work with either open reading time or maybe a craft (it all depends on the day) Its finally 2(ish) and our school day is over (hopefully) Then I go around and clean up the mess from breakfast, lunch and whatever they have done during breaktime and wash the kitchen floor thanks to the mud pit of the backyard and dirty doggy paws.
Hey! There’s a cup full of coffee in the microwave! SCORE!!! I FINALLY heat it up, and this time, I stand there until it’s done, take it out and put an ungodly amount of creamer in ( I like a dash of coffee with my creamer). I finally sit down and enjoy my cup of coffee. Someone in the next room starts screaming about something, usually Little Number 1 won’t let Little number 2 play something with him (thankfully after 8 years, I’m pretty much a pro at bribery). Then I look at the clock, oh crap, the hubs should be home soon, I should probably get some “big girl pants on” (He once asked me if I was turning into “one of those girls” who always wears yoga pants, so I try to best to put actually pants on before he gets home) Then I also realize I should get something started for dinner. So, then the hubs get home and sits down and relaxes after work, I finish up dinner and we all sit around the table and talk about our day. Then the hubs go back and sits down and relaxes, I clear the table, wash the dishes, re-clean the kitchen, and usually have to re-wash(or, at least, wipe down) the kitchen floor again. Then I wander around the house and pick up the inevitable mess. Get the kids in the bath (or shower) PJs on, then we sit together (finally to sit!) and watch a show. Then I bring the littles upstairs and tuck them in and say goodnight. I usually turn on a movie upstairs for myself and lay in bed (as I mentioned in another post, the littles share a bedroom, so I stay upstairs to make sure they fairly listen and don’t have too many shenanigans going on) I finally relax and usually pass out. And that is my day, every day.
Once a month I have a mom’s night out with my homeschool groups moms. Otherwise, I will occasionally have a friend over (like once every 2 months) I feel guilty going places without the kids, so I usually just don’t do it (maybe once every 3 months). You work all day and I appreciate that, so when you get home, I let you sit around and do nothing, I don’t say anything about it. When you get home and want to go to a friends house because you had a tough day or just need some man time, again, I don’t say anything about it. Because I feel like you deserve it. You work hard and support our family, I don’t.
But who am I kidding? I bust my ass every day. I teach our kids, I clean our house, I make sure everything is done so that you don’t have to do it. Quite frankly, you don’t have to do anything around the house except pay bills (or maybe open a jar or two). I know, I know, its kind of harsh to say, but seriously? Am I wrong?
SO, When you get home from work, and your house isn’t the cleanest, instead of going to sit down right away, maybe take charge and help tidy up one room. When you get home from work and it turns out your wife might have “overcooked” something, eat it with a smile and say “Thank you.” You don’t know what she’s been through during the day ( I promise you she doesn’t tell you everything, escpeically the littlest things that bother her the most) (And I PROMISE you, she never burns anything on purpose) You don’t know if she kept your children from killing each other and maybe that’s why dinner looks like tree bark (yes, my daughter once asked me if I cooked tree bark for dinner). If you come home and your wife, quite frankly, is just a hot mess, don’t roll your eyes and walk away. Tell her to go sit down and that you will order something for dinner. You would be surprised how much a simple “OH my god, what did you do to this steak” can hurt a girls feelings.
More importably, then anything else. Tell your wife that you appreciate her. That you are thankful for her and every single thing that she does. She has basically put her entire life on hold, to raise and teach your children.
How your children see you treat your wife, is an example they learn from. That little girl who is in the next room playing Barbies, will someday be someones wife, would you be happy if when she grows up, she is treated the same way you treat her mom? Would you be happy if that little boy running around pretending to be Batman, spends his life so busy working, that he doesn’t take the time to enjoy the life he has made?
Most day I feel like I’m failing miserably (Who knew teaching someone to read, could be so difficult) There are days I feel like I’m definitely messing up our kids and I just want to give up. There is an insane amount of pressure on me, I’m literally shaping our children’s future every single day.
Please, Never underestimate the power of a simple compliment. Never think you can tell her “I love you” too much. You are not just husband who goes to work and she is not just a mom who stays home. You are a team. Please start acting like it.