Life · Uncategorized

Yes, Valentines Day Matters

At the first moment this morning when I didn’t have our 2 kids hovering, I mentioned to my husband that since tomorrow is Valentines day, I had picked up our kids a few little somethings at the store. I was expecting, at least, a “thanks” (You know, so that way he didn’t need to pick anything up last-minute on his way home from work) But instead, he rolled his eyes and said “Another Hallmark Holiday” and then carried on his way into the kitchen.

So, to every other man out there who thinks the same, I have a few questions for you.

Question 1: When is that last time you bought your wife a card?

Maybe it was her birthday or your anniversary?

Question 2: When is the last time you wrote your wife a note, telling her how much you appreciate her and how much you love her?

Maybe it was her birthday or your anniversary? Maybe you never have. Because you buy a card that already says exactly what she will want to hear. <-see what I did there?

Question 3: When is the last time you told your wife she was beautiful (not that she looked nice, not sexy, not a swift slap on the tush as she passed by) But said the word beautiful?

Maybe it was her birthday or your anniversary?

Question 4: When is the last time you went to the store and bought her something “just because you thought she might like it?

Maybe it was her birthday or your anniversary or Christmas?

Question 5: When was the last time you and your wife went out to dinner (or even lunch) someplace that didn’t consist of wrapped food, pumpable ketchup and you used real metal silverware?

Maybe for your anniversary? On a side note, have you seen the new pumpable ketchup? They are actually really nice, not only are they smoother (they don’t jolt and then get stuck half way through and you don’t have to prime it to get it going again) but it only takes 1-2 pumps to fill up the little paper cups now!

Question 6: When was the last time you told your wife, you just didn’t have time to stop at the store to get her anything yet but would do it later, and then you never did?

Seriously? You’re an asshole.

That being said. I love my husband, I really do (hence why I married him) BUT he is not a romantic type of person. Maybe you aren’t either and that’s ok. But I think this is also why Valentines Day is so important.

If you only do these things once or twice a year, I agree with you. For you, it is a Hallmark Holiday. But as a wife I will tell you that it’s so much more, its one of the few days a year, where you express your gratitude and make me feel like I’m a person too. I know it sounds stupid and corny, but we as women need that reassurance. We need to feel wanted and appreciated. Never underestimate the power of giving your wife a compliment. We thrive on feeling loved.

Everyone (or at least so I’m told) gets to a point in their relationship where life is more of a routine, you go through the motions, but the spark isn’t as bright as it used to be, you don’t automatically have a failing marriage, but things just aren’t the same (ya know?) It just means that you are living life and are getting a little sidetracked on the way. It happens. That is why the most little gesture can make such a big impact.

You don’t need to buy her something fancy or expensive. Just something to remind her that she’s still your wife. That under those yoga pants and messy buns, she is still the woman who you looked at one day and knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. To remind her that even with your crazy schedules, you are still the man she fell in love with.

I understand why you might think there shouldn’t be a holiday telling you to buy your wife something, but if its such a big deal to you and you’re getting all offended, then why don’t you just do it more often, then it won’t seem like such a chore, the one day a year that is Valentines Day.

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Yes, Valentines Day Matters

  1. When you wrote…. “For you, it is a Hallmark Holiday……I felt an immediate connection to your blog. My husband is a firm believer that Valentine’s Day is a holiday for card companies. Currently, we are at a crossroads in our marriage where we are struggling to relate to one another and reignite our spark. I would just kill for a kind word, some affirmation, or a small compliment that makes me feel as if I matter to him as both his wife and the mother of our child. He doesn’t understand why I need these little things from him, but for me it is monumental and fundamental to how I feel he sees me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you this is exactly why I started this blog! I think when it comes to us moms who mainly stay home while our husbands are out working, they get that outside opinion and acknowledgement for their work. They get conversation with adults and affirmation of who they are as a person. They don’t really need us at home to tell them they matter because they already get all that out in the real world. Whereas us moms are at home with kids all day, using words like “potty” and “ucky”. While I’m sure they don’t always do it on purpose, I just don’t think they understand how important their words are to us, especially on days when they are the only adults we talk to.

      Liked by 2 people

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